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For the new issue of Top Gear magazine (out now), professional funny man and TG veteran, Jimmy Carr, took time out of his hectic punning schedule to talk car history, piloting an F1 car and, er, his unique take on vehicle safety.
We didn't have room to squeeze the full interview into the mag, so here it is in full, uncut form below. The campaign to make Jimmy our new Minister of Transport starts here. Add your vote in the comments below...
It's nearly ten years since you first appeared on Top Gear...
It's one of the biggest shows in the world. It's a global phenomenon. So you get to the track and expect those guys to be drenched in Cristal. I thought it'd make J-Lo's backstage look like a Premier Inn. But no... it looked a bit like the sort of thing where there'd be a six-year legal campaign to get them moved on.
What were you driving back then?
A Rover 75, or as I like to refer to it, a mock-Tudor Jag. From a distance, with a squint, in a fog, you could think ‘oh, that guy's got a Jag'. The car survived longer than the company, and my friend still has it - I gave it away. It sounds opulent that I gave a car to a friend, but actually, it was scrap.
Have things improved in the Jimmy Carr garage since then?
Oh, hugely. I have a Range Rover now - it's as British as the royal family. Slightly grander, I might say. It's like a stately home on wheels. And I like the gadgets, I'm a classic boy. It has air-conditioned seats - that's what you want. I want to arrive everywhere with fresh, cool balls. That's modern motoring at its finest.
Did you have anything between the Rover and the Rangie?
A Bentley Continental. I put 103,000 miles on it, and getting rid of it was an emotional wrench. I though the Bentley was the most comfortable car you could have, but then you drive a Range Rover and it's different - the difference between sitting in a nice waiting room, or sitting in your own armchair at home. Bigger seats, more upright, a different view of the road, it feels more relaxing.
How clean is your licence?
I don't think I've had any points since I've had the Range Rover. I got up to nine before that. But I would like to clarify the situation, because I do a lot of miles. I also think there should be different driving regulations after midnight. Between 1am and 5am we should say, ‘ok, it's an autobahn now - if you need to get from Wolverhampton to London, fill your boots'.
Would there be any other laws in Carr's Britain?
We shouldn't have just one driving test. There should be one where you're allowed on the road, in a car. There should be another where you're allowed on the road, in a car, with another person and a mobile phone. And another where you're allowed on the road, in a car, with a phone, a hot coffee and kids screaming in the back. And a super elite level where you say, honestly, I know what I'm doing, I'll be fine... and I'm trying to eat a bagel, officer, so leave me alone.
What's the fastest you've driven?
It was in a Marussia F1 car. It was an extraordinary, chance-of-a-lifetime thing. I got to do three laps and probably did 160mph, maybe 180mph on the straight, although it felt like more. The acceleration is extraordinary, but the brakes take your breath away. You think, ‘I'm going to brake', and then it's already happened. It's phenomenal. We warmed up in Formula Fords but I think they're more dangerous...
Why?
Written By:- Dan Read
More of this article on the Top gear website