What do you call a car that turns left when you steer right, & vice-versa?A Dislexus.
You know its time to change your car when..... 1. You spend more on oil than on petrol 2. Your car leaves three types of liquid in your parking space 3. You offer a friend a lift and they say no because they are in a hurry 4. You feel good if you beat a cyclist at the lights 5. You get invited to join a car restoration club 6. Your neighbours all chip in to buy you a car cover 7. Your car leaves more smoke than a David Copperfield show. 8. Somebody breaks in and fits a radio 9. Hitch hikers hide when they see you coming10. And Finally, you know its time to change that car when some old duffer tells you that they are the best car ever made.
A man buys a huge new car and shows it to his neighbor. Its great says the neighbor but does it have a bed in like mine? But your car is tiny says the man. Yes but watch this, the neighbor presses a button on his tiny car's dashboard and a bed unfolds. The man rushes back to the car showroom and demands a bed be fitted to his new car. The next day the man takes his huge car ( now fitted with a bed ) to show his neighbor but the neighbor is out. The man drives around looking for the neighbor and sees his car parked up in a rest stop with all the windows steamed up! The man goes to the car and starts banging ion the window. There is no signs of the neighbor and the windows are too steamed up to see inside. He bangs again, and again and eventually the neighbor (naked)wipes a circle into the steamed up window. "What the hell do you want?" "My car has a bed like yours!" "GEEZ! you got me out the shower to tell me that!!!"
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home wastowed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need ofrepair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in the back to make a sandwich.
You know its time to change your car when..... 1. You spend more on oil than on petrol 2. Your car leaves three types of liquid in your parking space 3. You offer a friend a lift and they say no because they are in a hurry 4. You feel good if you beat a cyclist at the lights 5. You get invited to join a car restoration club 6. Your neighbours all chip in to buy you a car cover 7. Your car leaves more smoke than a David Copperfield show. 8. Somebody breaks in and fits a radio 9. Hitch hikers hide when they see you coming10. And Finally, you know its time to change that car when some old duffer tells you that they are the best car ever made.
A man buys a huge new car and shows it to his neighbor. Its great says the neighbor but does it have a bed in like mine? But your car is tiny says the man. Yes but watch this, the neighbor presses a button on his tiny car's dashboard and a bed unfolds. The man rushes back to the car showroom and demands a bed be fitted to his new car. The next day the man takes his huge car ( now fitted with a bed ) to show his neighbor but the neighbor is out. The man drives around looking for the neighbor and sees his car parked up in a rest stop with all the windows steamed up! The man goes to the car and starts banging ion the window. There is no signs of the neighbor and the windows are too steamed up to see inside. He bangs again, and again and eventually the neighbor (naked)wipes a circle into the steamed up window. "What the hell do you want?" "My car has a bed like yours!" "GEEZ! you got me out the shower to tell me that!!!"
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home wastowed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need ofrepair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in the back to make a sandwich.
Last edited:
